Dream and Hustle

Falling in Love with the Life You Got

This Valentine Day will be my first “multicultural” Valentine as I’m taking out this sista from an emerging nation that bought Range Rover and Jaguar and supply the hair extensions on the heads of African American women. She recently arrived here in America and badly want to do everything from go to a Black mega church, go to a Black club and now she want to hang out on Valentine Day. I love her excitement of being around our people and her love of America. One of the things I’m hoping to do is show her the greatest love of all this Valentine Day.

Over the weekend, I had a pre-Valentine date and arrived to the conclusion that Valentine Day is a bunch of garbage. I remember last year I’m taking MochaSpot.com out to Fire of Brazil and her ass eating tacky as hell like she at the Golden Corral and ish – I paid that bill and you cats know how much the bill is at these Brazilian spots. By the way, the one Brazilian spot off Delk Road and I-75 is my favorite Brazilian spot to eat at, the food and buffet is great and the prices are very great.

But this year, this new chick, despite her tight faded jeans and curves had the nerve to order some damn pork! WTF, who the hell is Black in 2012 and still eat pork!? I was so freaking pissed because I’m not kissing this pig-eating chick and was appalled the whole evening at her eating into that piece of pork and we supposed to be hanging out having a good time for Valentine weekend. That’s when I realize around this Valentine Day, so many people around me are a pretentious sack of ish. I really hate this Valentine Day crap and how cats try to make it out to be.

This Valentine Day, learn to love and appreciate you and your life and I wish more people go this route instead of trying to find someone for Valentine Day who is going to do something stupid like eat pork on a date with a brotha. Okay, the Vietnam or Indonesian chick ordering pork, I have just a little problem with that but a sista ordering pork– hell nah! Nah, man that ish pissed me off and messed up my whole Sunday thinking about that ish!

But real talk, the problem I’m seeing with sistas and getting beyond basic conversations is a lot of them do not know themselves, can’t talk about their life and what make life sparkle for them. Instead these sistas are completely focused on external and all around them and just want to talk about that. This is not every sista – I know and dated plenty of sistas from places like Seattle, New Orleans and Richmond, Virginia who can express their life and ambition and these are the ones a brotha can go bike riding with or overnight camping, real talk. Those my kind of sistas but the majority of yall sistas ain’t nothing like that.

Today, many of us are so external and distracted that we are not in touch with ourselves. Many of us spend our life so empty fronting a phony image to other people as if those other people matter like that. Real love is when you become in tune with your life, your ambitions and how you are living it on a daily basis. This is the only life you know of that you got and let’s talk about how to start loving the life you got and appreciate and celebrate your life more than anything this Valentine Day.

First, Learn to Love the Truth

“Life without truth is not possible. Truth is perhaps life itself.” -Franz Kafka

Live your life based on the truth of your reality and who you are and what is around you. Be honest about what makes you happy and pursue that happiness. Be truthful about the type of people you want to fall in love with and find those people and don’t settle. When things are not right, accept the situation as the truth and not whether you like it or not.

Second, Accept Your Experience

Your life is the experiences that you go through, been through or getting ready to deal with. Imagine if you lost all of your memories – would you still be you? You are who you are not because of the good moments because of all moments in your and those moments are your experience. When you learn to accept your experience, you appreciate who you are today.

Third, Live that Dream Right Now

I had a childhood friend who spent his entire life since grade school always talking about what he going to do. We were in our late 30s when I had to break it down he was so full of sh*t and wasting his life away on that nonsense. He kept talking about he ain’t ready as if he was personally guaranteed tomorrow. Live for right now and realize there is no perfect present than the present itself. There is no “right time” for anything, if you want it, go for it right and now because what really matters is not whether you get it, what matters is you made yourself go for it.

Fourth, Express Yourself

Speak your mind and express how you really feel in this world. Go ahead and get a blog and rant your behind off, especially on these chicks who eat pork on a date with a brotha. She probably eat neckbones when no is looking either, that’s all I can think about. Don’t be afraid to be you and do you when you go out in this world. Dress exactly how you want to portray yourself because this is your life and you celebrate your life by being you and doing you. Don’t worry about these other cats, this is your life and you got a persona that you need to let come out and let the world see what you are about.

Last, Keep Quality People in Your Life

Deal only with people who compliment your goals and your persona. You are going to end up highly disappointed if you hang out or give attention to other cats who ain’t really about what you about or ain’t trying to acknowledge you and what you about. Focus on finding events and socials that has the same interest as you have. Date only people who you like, not people you think like you. If people think you are arrogant and selfish, then that’s their problem, not yours.

This Valentine Day, Celebrate You

You going to see a lot of people on Valentine Day chase validation and acceptance by others. Even worse, you are going to see a lot of sad people who didn’t get validation and acceptance by others. I hope you fully understand and appreciate that you being you is the most beautiful thing that can happen on Valentine Day. When you learn to love you life, accept life as your experience good or bad and deal only with people who validate and compliment who you are, then you will discover the greatest love of all, the love inside of you.